What a day

Well, it has been an intersting day full of all sorts of news and emotions -- all of which I do not think I can fully appreciate at this time. One the one hand, I received another internship interview offer which puts me at 4 sites! Woohoo! Then my mother calls and tells me my father has been admitted to the hospital as they think he has had another stroke. I just don't know what to think or feel right now other than a bittersweet lull. Oh, and my lymph nodes on my neck are swollen.

Top 10: Clues that you are probably a Psychologist

• 10. You were trained as a scientist, and your profession's journals reject 80% of submitted manuscripts.
• 9. You don't dare move out of state for fear that you might not be able to get licensed in the other state.
• 8. You have just spent $450 on a professional workshop, plus another $650 on travel and hotel expenses to find out what you had hoped you would learn is unethical to do without a two year post-doctoral program.
• 7. You have a doctoral degree but make less than occupational therapists and physical therapists with a bachelors degree. Your professional association encourages you to provide free services.
• 6. Even though you have just completed 6 years of post graduate training, and have a doctoral degree, you still need two years of supervision to be allowed to take a licensing examination.
• 5. Your main competitors for jobs have masters and bachelors degrees.
• 4. Your colleagues who were appalled at the use of medications to treat behavioral disorders ten years ago ard now active advocates of prescription privileges.
• 3. You are in a doctoral training program that requires an internship and there aren't any.
• 2. The professors who taught the core content of the background and discipline of your profession publically express serious doubt about whether your applied activities have any validity or merit.
• 1. Your colleagues have vigorously and publically debated whether schizophrenia really exists for the past 50 years, and your are genuinely perplexed as to why the Alliance for the Mentally Ill is not impressed with psychologists.

What "PhD" Really Stands for...

* Patiently hoping for a Degree
* Piled higher and Deeper
* Professorship? hah! Dream on!
* Please hire. Desperate.
* Physiologically Deficient
* Pour him (or her) a Drink
* Philosophically Disturbed
* Probably headed for Divorce
* Pathetically hopeless Dweeb
* Probably heavily in Debt
* Parents have Doubts
* Professors had Doubts
* Pheromone Deprived
* Probably hard to Describe
* Patiently headed Downhill...
* Permanent head Damage
* Pulsating heaving Disaster?
* Pretty homely Dork
* Potential heavy Drinker
* Professional hamburger Dispenser
* Post hole Digger
* Professional hair Dresser
* Progressive heart Doctor
* Professional humidity Detector
* Piano hauling Done
* Pro at hurling Darts
* Professional hugger of Dames
* Private house Detective
* Pizza hut Driver
* Pretty heavily Depressed
* Prozac handouts Desired
* Pretty heavy Diploma
* Pathetic homeless Dreamer
* Please hold Dangerous
* Permanently held Dear
* Proudly half Dead
* Promised hell Down-the-road
* Precisely helping Deadheads
* Processed here, Dammit
* Probably heavenly Death

Oh the joys of what I have to look forward to!  As a faculty member told me a few
weeks ago after passing my dissertation proposal, "Good for you, now you are one
step closer to unemployment!"  I love this job.

Why God Never Received Tenure

-- Author unknown

1. He only had one major publication.
   
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating the results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class and just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he has his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of the students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.

Thank goodness for the important things . . .

Finally, a little down time to at least breath and catch up on household chores, emails, and sleep. I cannot believe that it is nearing the semester's end - time passes quickly when you are inundated! Thank goodness that I was able to get everything done from my to-do-list: dissertation proposal successfully passed, internship applications all out on time, assessment reports getting done, and maintaining teaching assignments. And to think a classmate told me to give up and wait until next year to apply to internship because she felt I could not get things done - she said it was impossible. *Phooey*