What "PhD" Really Stands for...

* Patiently hoping for a Degree
* Piled higher and Deeper
* Professorship? hah! Dream on!
* Please hire. Desperate.
* Physiologically Deficient
* Pour him (or her) a Drink
* Philosophically Disturbed
* Probably headed for Divorce
* Pathetically hopeless Dweeb
* Probably heavily in Debt
* Parents have Doubts
* Professors had Doubts
* Pheromone Deprived
* Probably hard to Describe
* Patiently headed Downhill...
* Permanent head Damage
* Pulsating heaving Disaster?
* Pretty homely Dork
* Potential heavy Drinker
* Professional hamburger Dispenser
* Post hole Digger
* Professional hair Dresser
* Progressive heart Doctor
* Professional humidity Detector
* Piano hauling Done
* Pro at hurling Darts
* Professional hugger of Dames
* Private house Detective
* Pizza hut Driver
* Pretty heavily Depressed
* Prozac handouts Desired
* Pretty heavy Diploma
* Pathetic homeless Dreamer
* Please hold Dangerous
* Permanently held Dear
* Proudly half Dead
* Promised hell Down-the-road
* Precisely helping Deadheads
* Processed here, Dammit
* Probably heavenly Death

Oh the joys of what I have to look forward to!  As a faculty member told me a few
weeks ago after passing my dissertation proposal, "Good for you, now you are one
step closer to unemployment!"  I love this job.